Raising Gracious and Appreciative Children in an Entitled World

Lisa Konick, PhD
Lisa Konick, PhD
January 8, 2025

In today’s fast-paced and highly connected world, it’s easy for children to grow up with a sense of entitlement. From instant gratification provided by technology to the societal pressures of always “keeping up,” parents face the daunting challenge of nurturing gratitude and humility in their kids while prioritizing mental health. But it’s not impossible. With intentional parenting, we can equip our children with the tools to navigate life with grace, resilience, and a deep sense of appreciation.

The Roots of Entitlement

Entitlement often stems from well-meaning behaviors. When we try to protect our children from discomfort, provide them with the best of everything, or shield them from failure, we may inadvertently foster an expectation that life will always cater to their needs. While it’s natural to want the best for our kids, it’s equally important to teach them that the world doesn’t owe them anything.

Social media compounds this issue. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram can create a skewed perception of reality, where curated snapshots of luxury and success overshadow the hard work and struggles behind the scenes. This digital environment can fuel entitlement, making children believe that success and happiness should come easily.

Fostering Gratitude

Fostering gratitude doesn’t mean denying your children comforts or dismissing their feelings. It’s about helping them find a balance between appreciating what they have and understanding the value of effort and empathy. Here’s how to approach this with mental health in mind:

  1. Model Grateful Behavior: Children learn by observing. Express gratitude in your daily life—thank your partner for their support, acknowledge a server’s hard work, or show appreciation for the little joys of life. When kids see gratitude in action, they’re more likely to adopt it themselves.
  2. Set Realistic Expectations: It’s okay to say no. Teach your children that they can’t always get what they want and that sometimes they need to wait or work for it. These lessons instill patience and perseverance.  Children develop a greater sense of appreciation and value when they have some “skin in the game.” 
  3. Encourage Acts of Service: Involvement in community service or helping others can provide children with perspective. Activities like volunteering at a food bank, helping a neighbor, or donating toys can foster empathy and gratitude.
  4. Teach Financial Literacy: Introduce your children to budgeting and saving from an early age. For example, your child might earn money for completing chores and save over a period of time to obtain desired items or special activities.  When they understand the value of money and effort, they’ll appreciate what they have more deeply.  
  5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Achievement: Praise your child’s hard work and dedication rather than solely focusing on outcomes. This builds resilience and helps them value the journey, not just the destination.
  6. Create Gratitude Rituals: Incorporate practices like gratitude journaling or sharing what everyone is thankful for at dinner. These rituals can help children develop a habit of reflection and appreciation.

Fostering gratitude and appreciation in your child can also involve helping them recognize the contributions of others in their lives. Teach them to thank teachers, coaches, and peers for their support, and encourage them to notice small acts of kindness. Discussing the effort that goes into creating opportunities or comforts they enjoy—like preparing meals or planning family activities—can deepen their understanding and gratitude.

Protecting Mental Health in the Process

As you instill these values, it’s crucial to prioritize your child’s mental well-being. Here are some strategies:

  • Limit Social Media Exposure: Set boundaries around screen time and encourage breaks from technology. Help your children understand the difference between real life and the highlight reels they see online.
  • Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space where your children feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. When they know they’re heard and supported, they’re more likely to develop a healthy self-image.
  • Promote Mindfulness and Stress Management: Teach relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These tools can help them navigate the challenges of growing up in a competitive world.
  • Seek Professional Help When Needed: If your child shows signs of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, don’t hesitate to consult a professional. Addressing these issues early can make a significant difference.

The Long-Term Payoff

Raising gracious and appreciative children takes time and effort, but the rewards are immense. Not only will your kids grow into empathetic and resilient adults, but they’ll also be better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs with grace and gratitude.

By nurturing these qualities while safeguarding their mental health, you’re setting them up for a fulfilling and meaningful life. After all, the goal isn’t to raise perfect children—it’s to raise kind, humble, and emotionally strong individuals who contribute positively to the world.

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